The Fear and the Faith


It’s so close to being on the journey with the airstream. The questions have been catapulted from friends and strangers lately  “Are You Scared?” Are you worried!?” Of course I brush it off like “Absolutely not” and 95% of the time I’m good. Yes I’m ready to start an adventure but as it began to get closer it becomes extremely real. I’m leaving the house I’ve been in longer than I’ve lived at since I left my mother’s house when I was young. HELL Yes, there is your answer. The unknown is scary for sure.  more thoughts…

Personally I’m at an age where 90% of my friend my age are married and a good solid 60% of them have kids. Another 20-30% will join that crowd in less than 5 years. And here I am giving away most of my belongings for most would consider a “Gypsy” lifestyle. It can feel like I’m going backwards. I’m 31 and going the opposite way of a secure lifestyle. But “typical” has never been a theme of my life I’d say. Not for better or for worse. Just unusual.

Professionally it is about 50-50% whether this is brilliant and positive or a death sentence for my career. The advertising world is a tough tough one. You get to a level where everybody is legit so it helps to stand out. This COULD be an angle to do just that. Lord knows my dancing skills haven’t. Adventure pulls at everybody’s hearts. I’m doing my research into ad agencies in the cities on my route and scheduling “portfolio & margaritas with the airstream” fun for them. Get them out of the office. This WILL be no doubt a way to get some amazing footage while devoting a serious amount of time at each location. Surprisingly I’ve picked up a few clients with things they need shot that I can prioritize my route around. These projects might not justify a special big budget shoot that includes airfare and the days, but if I can roll in and shoot them along the way it saves the client money. Of course I will continue to fly out for projects just like I do here in Dallas.

The WORRY. Art Directors like to work with people they like and are close to them. Yes I’ve built a name in Dallas but with me leaving “out of sight out of mind.”  This is scary but like Mad Men said, “The day you start signing clients is the when you start losing clients”  It’s a business and I get that and Loyalty is rare in this industry. They come and they go. Part of it.

At the end of it, When the fear is gripping me and I’m saying to myself in the mirror WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!? I look back at all the moments where I really grew and changed me. It wasn’t the little steps in my comfort zone. It was the big big out of the nest “you better fly” moves that made me. That gives me peace or at least the willingness to try. So much grace and wisdom from amazing people have made this project possible. I spent a lot of time with the people that have been on this earth much longer than I have and they tell me the same things. It’s not the comfortable years in the same house and job they think about, it was the unknown parts when nothing was guaranteed. I’m scared, absolutely. But I’m more excited. Fear is not Faith. Fear can paralyze you or make you sharper. It will work out.

My biggest regrets are the things that I did not try for. That I assumed wouldn’t work. If you never try one thing is absolutely certain…NOTHING.

Does anybody else relate? What do you think.


Be Well, Go Far, Dream Big.


  • Thorpe says:

    It’s only natural to feel fear before embarking on a life changing journey of this magnitude. But I have a feeling you will not only be just fine, but this will be one of the single best things you’ll ever do in your life. It will be short time down the road where this fear will melt away and the realization sinks in that you can do this… you are doing this and it’s the right choice. You’re free!! Perhaps 90% of your friends are married, but I guarantee you 100% of your friends wish they were along for the ride. This trip for you is a win/win. There is no lose. I know that no matter how “out of sight, out of mind” you are in the Dallas advertising scene, you have the ability to jump back into the game on your return. And when you do return, it will be with a new image portfolio most photogs would kill for. So.. embrace this fear you’re feeling. Because that’s really excitement wrapped in anxiousness for that starting gate to open… releasing you onto the open road.

    Stay safe, have fun… I’ll be following your progress.
    – Thorpe

  • Chris Dunphy says:

    I relate.

    It will be awesome.

    Even the inevitable awful bits can be lived as incredible experiences – just part of the ride.

    I love your “Margaritas with the Airstream” angle. What a great way to stand out.

    I look forward to meeting you on the road someday.

    – Chris

  • Amanda says:

    Well said. I think everyone who takes the leap goes through this same period of worry. My husband and I are both in our mid-30s and a little over a year into our full-time Airstream travels/life. All the fears you mentioned about losing security and comfort were huge worries when we first made this lifestyle choice. We were also at the point where 90% of our friends had gone the kid route and settled down for a long life filled with “normal”. As a couple who made the choice not to go take that path we were always considered the weird ones. What we have found out here on the road may not be as secure as our life once was, but it is so much better! The community that we have discovered among full-time travelers, and the connections that we have made with fellow Airstreamers has blown us away. It didn’t take long for the fear to disappear and the jubilation of life on the road to take over. The feeling that we are living life to the fullest, taking chances and experiencing so much more than we ever could have in our previous comfortable place in life is one that I would not give up for anything. We have been following your Airstream renovation progress on Instagram and hope one day that we will cross paths on the road. Wishing you the best of luck and happy travels!
    Amanda + Tim

  • Anne Elliott says:

    Thorpe is right! You’ll be great!


  • You are doing some good work Brian !

    All the best 🙂

  • IDA says:

    All the very best Mr. Brian ! You rock !

  • Lynn says:

    Hey Brian,
    Thanks for this blog post – I can definitely relate! I just sold my last piece of furniture today and am in the process of getting ready for my own solo full-time RV adventure (I likely won’t hit the road until early 2014 though). Every time someone stops by to buy something, my little dog runs frantically around the apartment to see what else was gone, what else was missing from our stable life. I’m starting to feel just like her. It’s excited, but anxiety producing, eh?

    Good luck and I hope to meet you down the road, Lynn

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